Want to Be a Better Leader? Watch More Movies

“This is no democracy. It is a dictatorship. I am the law.” Coach Boone in Remember the Titans

“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.”  Nelson Mandela, Invictus

Boy do those depict different types of leadership styles, or what?

But each of these leaders had different things they needed to accomplish. Coach Boone, for instance, also had this to say to his team, “I don’t care if you like each other or not. But you will respect each other.”

And, “You’re not just a player on this team; you’re part of something bigger.”

Coach Boone has a job to do. He has to get his team to play together (when racial tensions were clearly dividing them and their community) and he has to motivate them to want to win… for each other. And he needs to do it quickly. He doesn’t have months to get his team to gel. His style is certainly not for everyone. But it was situationally effective for the job he needed to accomplish.

Nelson Mandela also needed to unite a community. His job was obviously much bigger and had an impact on millions more people… and the entrenched problems were significantly worse too. But his leadership style was perfectly suited to address the situation in a way that moved his country forward. He was a transformational servant leader, creating the vision and then leading from behind to help his countrymen build consensus and move toward that vision.

Who’s right? Who’s wrong? Actually, neither is wrong in the context of the situation. The question isn’t which style is best, but which style serves your situation.

What the movies teach us about becoming a better leader

I spent a number of years on the NYS PTA board of directors. One of my jobs, both as a region director and at our statewide training events, was to help new leaders feel more comfortable leading.

Most PTA leaders get into PTA leadership because they’re interested in advocating for and helping their own children. But once they step into those roles, they realize the job is much bigger than that. And complicated. And rewarding.

However, there’s no requirement for a PTA leader to have prior leadership experience… resulting in behaviors from “this is a dictatorship” ala Coach Boone to “I’m doing everything myself” because I don’t know how to lead people in a way that encourages their participation and contribution. This “do it all myself” tendency was far more prevalent in these new (mostly) mom leaders.

I had a presentation I used to give to new leaders called, “What does a good leader look like?” Obviously, a good leader doesn’t have a “look.” That was the entire point – to shatter the myth that leaders fit one mold. I wanted them to be able to see themselves, no matter their age, color, level of experience, or economic status, as leaders.

I used clips from a variety of movies, from Coach Boone in Remember the Titans to Leigh Anne Tuohy in The Blind Side “coaching” Michael’s football coach on how to motivate him to protect his quarterback. Those clips from different types of movies showing different leadership styles demonstrated to these newly minted PTA board members how leadership, and leaders, can look very different in different situations.

Those movie clips kickstarted some amazing discussions about their perceptions of what they thought leaders should do and say… and their fears about their own ability to lead their units. The clips showed them the breadth of diversity across leadership styles… and gave them permission to start seeing themselves in some of the scenarios.

We also had many aha moments, where these leaders realized that adopting a leadership style that didn’t fit them would be inauthentic and would not be effective.

Like the stay-at-home mom who was afraid to run meetings because she didn’t want to have to admit she didn’t know the answer to something. Turns out her fears were the same fears as the majority of people in my classes. And the reality is: there’s no way you’re going to know the answer to every question someone might ask. The leadership comes in how you handle and respond to that. Lying would be a poor choice, IMHO. Brushing off the question, also not a great response. Thanking them and letting them know you’ll have to research and get back to them… better option.

She spoke up about Coach Boone’s style, saying she didn’t think she’d ever be able to do something like that. Be that confident. Take control like that.

But there’s no need for her to do that. We watch leaders and their styles to borrow what feels like it would be effective for us. We learn approaches we can use and language that feels good. But putting on someone else’s clothing is never going to fit us as well.

You’ll be the best leader you can be when you figure out what style or combination of styles fits you best.

Leadership Styles

There really is no one right way to lead in every situation, but I think it makes a difference where you “live” and where you “visit.”

I would never be comfortable “living” in a Coach Boone kind of style. But I can and have visited it a handful of times in my career, when I felt it was the most effective way to accomplish what the organization or group needed. I’m much more comfortable with a Mandela kind of approach, though I would never claim to be the statesman he was.

The style you “live” in is the one you use on a daily basis. You may visit other styles in specific situations, but that’s not how most people see you as a leader.

Here are some styles you may recognize:

Coercive leaders demand immediate compliance. This is Coach Boone’s, “It is a dictatorship.”

Authoritative leaders mobilize people toward a vision. But this is also Coach Boone, “You’re not just a player on this team; you’re part of something bigger.”

Notice how even Coach Boone doesn’t stay in one style – he uses coercive tactics to get attention, then shifts to authoritative leadership to inspire. The best leaders flex between styles as situations demand.

Affiliative leaders create emotional bonds and harmony. There’s a lot of Ted Lasso here.

Democratic leaders build consensus through participation. Here, Nelson Mandela shone.

Pacesetting leaders expect excellence and self-direction. Jack Welch, one-time CEO of GE, would be a good example of a pacesetting leader. He has several books on leadership and his time at GE that showcase his leadership style.

Coaching leaders develop people for the future. Think about Yoda or Obi-wan Kenobi here.

And servant leaders set the vision, invite input through participation to hone that vision, and then provide the tools and the coaching to help their organizations achieve that vision together.

And it’s this last type of leadership style that, like Nelson Mandela, has the power to create the biggest impact. Because when you lead as a servant leader, you’re empowering your organization in a way that makes each person feel ownership. It makes the organization stronger by virtue of the fact that everyone in the organization feels, at one time or another, a level of responsibility.

You’re not telling people what to do. You’re developing the vision for the organization with them, then providing them with the tools and the training to execute their role in that vision. In effect, you’re creating leaders by the way you lead.

How can you build your own leadership style?

Read books on leadership, like those from John C Maxwell and Patrick Lencioni. Those are great foundations.

Read books written by leaders, like Robert Iger, Sheryl Sandberg, and Arianna Huffington.

And I would add, because many of us are visual learners and the human brain is wired for storytelling: watch movies. They don’t have to be movies about great leaders and leadership. Leadership is not always a specific role or title you’ve been given.

Like the leadership role Katniss took on in The Hunger Games to save her sister and protect the other players in the game. Like Juror #8 in 12 Angry Men who challenged groupthink to ensure a fair verdict. Like Katherine Johnson in Hidden Figures who leads by example, focusing on the work and showing through grace and character what good leadership looks like. She doesn’t try to take over or proclaim her superior skills (even though she has them)… she produces high-quality work, thinks about the consequences, and offers options that benefit the entire organization.

Like Gerry Bertier in Remember the Titans when, as a high school kid and team captain, he led his teammates past their prejudices after he had his own transformation. And Gerry’s teammate, Julius Campbell’s  “attitude reflects leadership” comment to Gerry forced him to evolve and grow as a leader.   

It Takes Intention

As I learned from working with my supervisors and direct reports in my corporate management role and in coaching new PTA leaders… the first step to becoming a better leader is wanting to become a better leader.

If you want to be a good leader, whether you have that title right now or not, you’ll see much more success if you set an intention to learn and grow as a leader… and then notice and adopt good leadership techniques when you see them. As long as they’re authentic to you. A word of caution, especially for most women leading in a predominantly male arena — leading “like a man” is not usually the lesson you want to take from watching the leaders around you. It won’t feel authentic. You’ll need to find your style and what works for you. (Here, think about Rebecca’s growth as a team owner in Ted Lasso.)

If you want to improve your leadership style, the next time you’re enjoying a movie:

• Recognize when a character is in or steps into a leadership role
• Name what kind of leadership style they’re exhibiting
• Decide if there’s something you can learn from their actions — whether it’s what to do… or what not to do

Nelson Mandela and Coach Boone were both great leaders… with very different styles and approaches. You’ll develop your own style and approach as you grow into your leadership role too. And that style may look different in different situations. That’s okay. That’s the mark of an effective leader.

So, go ahead, watch movies. Enjoy them. And see what you can borrow from those engrossing leadership moments you see up on the big screen.

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